Why hire adults when you can hire someone who works for Goldfish crackers?
We are looking for highly motivated individuals (ages 2-4) who possess high energy, low attention spans, and a complete disregard for the fragility of "Standard Shipping" labels.
Industry-leading salaries including 401(k) blocks, unlimited juice boxes, and a premium "No-No" list exemption.
Operate our new fleet of heavy-duty Big Wheels and plastic wagons. All vehicles equipped with 100% spill-proof cup holders.
We work around your schedule. Shifts are strictly between "Post-Breakfast Tantrum" and "Mid-Afternoon Crash."
Our couriers can fit into spaces adults can't, like under the porch or behind the sofa where your package will likely remain forever.
- Timmy (Top Performing Courier / 3 years old)